It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Couch. On fire.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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