It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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