8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
