I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
