yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
