Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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