I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
