I look better un-naked...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
