ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
