ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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