it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
