Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
