she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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