Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
