To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize