its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize