I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
