Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I lost the right to judge tonight
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
