He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
