You can't special order awesome
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
