Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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