I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
