the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
