your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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