so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
