Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
