im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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