Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
two words...techno handjob
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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