I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
