He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
someone owes me an orgasm
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize