you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
