I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
