well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
