how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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