Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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