I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
