i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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