I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
