the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you win again, gameday.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
