with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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