just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
