he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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