I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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