my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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