I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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