Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
