I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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