party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
