would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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