i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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