I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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