he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
