ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
