OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
