You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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