took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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