Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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