also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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