Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
